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March 14, 2008: Happy Friday! I'm so sorry for my delay in posting. I recently hit my busy season with work, so from now until April 14, I'm perpetually snowed under. I'm making good progress, though, so hopefully it won't be too bad. Mike is doing well, too. He is settling in at his new company and is really enjoying it. He really likes his co-workers, so that has made a big difference. I have been getting my ducks in a row for school in June (vaccinations, transcripts, etc.) I'm also taking one online class this semester, but it's not too hard. Let's see...to catch up...the weekend after my last post...we went to La Porte for Jessie's 16th birthday party. We drove in Saturday morning to go by our jewelers in Houston to get my jewelry inspected for insurance. Then, I drove out to Baytown for a baby shower for my old high school friend, Heather B. It was so much fun to see some old friends from High School. I had a great time catching up and am definitely looking forward to the ten year reunion in August (I know...10 years...crazy!) Saturday night was Jessie's big sweet 16 bash. My Aunts Penny and Brenda along with their husbands Uncles Charlie and Ben came to "chaperone." Granny Eunice came over to keep an eye on things as well. Derrick (and old friend from high school, and our neighbor Paula's son) DJ'd. Jessie had about 30 friends over. They ate, danced, ate some more, then all jumped in the pool. The part was definitely a success...but more importantly...Jessie had a blast. She chose a special song for her and Mike to dance to. While I know she wished she was dancing with Dad on her 16th birthday, we all knew he was watching and wishing her well. On Sunday Mike and I headed home to regroup and get a few things done. Mike has been working on a big contract project which has taken a lot of time. I hate to see him work so much, but he really does love it. He gets so excited about stuff. Mom thought it was so cute how excited he got when he showed her the latest application he wrote. While she was impressed with the program (it's a GPS mapping application,) she's like me...we're just not into that type of stuff. But, I'm glad he enjoys what it does, and the extra funds don't hurt. Then, this past weekend, we had everyone on our turf!!! It's always fun to have family in town - it only happens once every year or so, so we really enjoy seeing everyone and not having to drive to Houston. The big occasion this weekend was our cousin Joseph's wedding to Jane. (Joseph is Aunt Carol's son - Aunt Carol is my Dad's sister.) On Friday night Mike and I took Grandma and Aunt Betty Jean and Uncle James to the rehearsal dinner at County Line on the Lake. We had a great time. I think the best (but also most emotional) part was Uncle Joe's speech. While I won't go into details, it cited this song. When you read the lyrics, I'm sure you can see why it was such an amazing speech. Jamie, Jay, and Morgan came into town Friday night. So, after the rehearsal dinner I hung out with them talking while Mike went to the bachelor party. While he had fun, he was seriously regretting the 2:30am bedtime the next day. (Neither of us do late nights well.) The next day we took our time waking up. But at 10am, Jamie and I were in line at the Four Hands warehouse clearance sale. On Friday, Mike and I stopped by because I had heard that you can get some great deals at this twice yearly sale. And they weren't kidding...we got an amazing deal on a kitchen table, chairs and hutch, and a console for the entry way. We had know we needed to get a kitchen set eventually (the one we had in the kitchen - now in the dining room - was my Nanny's and wasn't made for every day use) we weren't exactly planning on buying one now. But, like Mike said, you don't run across a deal like this every day - so we got it. (The fact that cheapo Mike called it a "deal" tells you how great it was :-) Jamie came with me for a second opinion and to make sure I didn't back out (I have a hard time spending large chunks of money.) Then, on Saturday at 2pm, we went to Joseph and Jane's wedding. It was absolutely beautiful. The service was wonderful and the reception was alot of fun. Here are a few pics from the big day:
On Sunday morning, some family came over for breakfast at our house. We had a great time. At one of the last family weddings, Dad (at 10pm on Saturday) invited all the family at the wedding to breakfast at Mom and Dad's on Sunday morning. While it was a little sudden, we had a great time. And our family has other breakfast traditions (strawberry pancakes for Christmas, etc.) so Mom thought we ought to carry on the casual after wedding breakfast Dad started. The weekend was alot of fun filled with family and many laughs. Mike and I really enjoyed spending some quality time with Morgan. We LOVE spending time with (and spoiling) her. On Sunday she wanted to "stay with Aunt Shell and Uncle Mike." And we wanted to keep her...but I don't think Jamie and Jay like the idea of giving her up :-) On Sunday we got the house back together after all the craziness. Speaking of the house...I will post some before and after photos soon. While we still aren't done, we are definitely livable again - and thoroughly enjoying our changes!!! We mainly have some trim work and painting left to do. I also need to make some curtains but am having trouble finding fabric I like. But, we are taking a few weeks off to recuperate. I just asked Mike that we get it all completed by the time I start school (the beginning of June.) He said that is doable. If we put our mind to it, we should only have 2-3 weekends of work left...the light is definitely at the end of the tunnel!!! Have a great weekend!!! We will both working on Saturday, but am looking forward to a day off on Sunday. It will be our first day off with no commitments or home projects to do in over 3 months...yea!!!! February 28, 2008: Hi there. I hope your week is going well. Wow...what a week we have had. Really...its been the last 10 days...its just been insane. Where do I start? Let's start with the Sunday before last. Sunday was a lot of fun because the team at EPSIIA (Mike's old company) threw a great going away dinner for Mike out at the Salt Lick. While Mike isn't a big fan of being the center of attention, it REALLY meant a lot to him that his colleagues would do that. He really loved the old EPSIIA crew and definitely will miss working with them. On Monday, construction began on the floors. While it was nice to see construction (as opposed to destruction) happening, it was definitely complete chaos for the next four days. Also on Monday, I was planning to give my three months notice with work. But of course - it was President's day so that didn't happen. That stunk because I didn't sleep at all on Sunday because I was so nervous about giving notice. Quitting and going to grad school has been a tough decision. Many people run to grad school because they hate what they do. This was definitely not my case, but I do still think its the best decision for me, our family, and our future. But, I was still sad and nervous to tell my boss. But finally, on Tuesday I worked up the courage to tell my boss. He was sad, but understood, though he was in denial for a few days. After Thursday or so, he finally realized that it was happening and there wasn't a way for me to somehow work and go to school at the same time. Wednesday was really tough, emotionally. It was the one year anniversary of Dad's passing (see below). But to be honest, it was just slightly tougher than the previous five days. One thing I didn't expect is how much we would start grieving again over the five days that preceded Dad's death. But, after all that, I do think that something important did happen - I think we definitely had more peace. Thursday felt like our new year had begun. Thursday was also another big day for Mike - his last day at EPSIIA. He went out in style with another big lunch, and a standing ovation when he left the office that day! For a guy that avoids the spotlight, he definitely had a lot that day! On Friday Mike enjoyed his one day of unemployment by sleeping in and doing trim work for the new floors. While we still have a lot of finishing things to do around the house, it is at least livable again, which is a GREAT feeling. We essentially lived in chaos for about six weeks, and hated every minute of it. Granted, our timing was really bad with job interviews, career changes, and so much more, but I guess things like this never have great timing. Over the weekend we mainly continued getting the house back in order. Hooking up all of Mike's electronic crap took up nearly all Saturday!!! He has way too much stuff. Also, we were still dragging from working late Friday night with Mike's Dad (Joe). He helped us so much on Friday including getting up on rickety scaffolding to change my entry light fixture (yea!) On Sunday we went out to Mike's parents house in Manor for a birthday celebration for his sister, Jamye. We had a good time, but weren't too much into partying from being so stinking tired! But since Sunday night, we have been pretty lazy just catching up on rest and taking it easy a little. There is still a lot to do, but it will get done...eventually. On Monday, Mike started his new job. That was pretty nerve wracking for him, but it went well. I think he felt really out of place Monday. But on Tuesday, he started getting into a groove and figured out what he needed to do. He seems to really like his new colleagues. Also, as each day goes by, he has realized how much work he has to do to get their network infrastructure up to snuff. I think its a little overwhelming, but at the same time - he likes to be busy, so it's good. Last night (Wednesday) I met my friend, John, for dinner. That was fun - we try to get together once a month or so for dinner to catch up, talk, and debate on politics. John was one of my best friends in high school. We lost contact in college, and just recently got in touch again. It's nice because he likes to go out to fun dinners and talk. Also, if I ever need a date to shows or musicals - I have one! That makes Mike happy because he doesn't feel obligated to go to things he doesn't like - he knows I can call on John. This weekend we are going to La Porte. We have two big events - the first is a baby shower for my friend Heather B. from high school. Then, Saturday night is Jessie's big Sweet 16 party! We are looking forward to both events! I hope everyone's week is going well! February 20, 2008:
One year ago today...life changed as I know it. The man I looked up to most in the world passed away. I miss my father each day and not a day goes by that I don't think of him. I have faced too many situations where I say "I wish I can ask Dad what he thinks is best." Dad was always the voice of reason in our house and had an amazing way to see through a situation and find a good solution. I have laid in bed many nights lately thinking about what I should write on this day...one year after...but words just don't seem to be enough. And, Dad wouldn't want a bunch of sappy things said about him. So, on this day, I'm going to honor him in a way in which he would appreciate - with lessons I have learned through this year.... I have learned that I am incredibly strong. When I was younger, I thought I was strong, but sort of "lost it" along the path to adulthood. This year has taught me, that in fact, I am incredibly strong and can withstand more than I ever thought possible. I have learned that I am very rational (though Mike might debate this at times.) Dad was always the voice of reason and rationalism in the house, and I found myself taking on that role a little. I relish it as I feel it is a way I can help my family and carry on Dad's tradition of stepping back and viewing a situation from a different angle. I have found great maturity in the past year. I really do feel I've "come into my own" through this experience. I know what I'm capable of, and that I have a lot to give others. I have learned that I am more like my Dad than I ever realized. Mom always told me this, but I didn't understand until this past year when I look back and realize how my decisions and ways of thought are so in line with my Father. I have learned that life can truly stink at times, but that we have to get through it. Sometimes its okay to through yourself a pity party for a little while, as long as you don't let the pity consume you. I have learned the relief of a good cry session. Sometimes that's the only thing that seems to release the frustration and sorrow. I have learned so many lessons this year. While this has been the most difficult year of my life, it has also been the year of most growth. Our whole family has grown so much. I can honestly day that I think Dad would be proud of us. While we have all made our fair share of bad decisions and mistakes this year, we have all learned from them and have grown closer than ever. We are all choosing to remember this day differently - Mom went to Dad's grave this morning and has been staying busy throughout the day with lunch with co-workers and working very hard. I'm so proud of Jessie - she and her friend CJ are going to Dad's grave for the first time. I know this is difficult for her, but its also a big step. Jamie is keeping busy with school and her job search. As for me...I'm throwing myself into work, as usual. I had a little breakdown this morning, but am feeling okay. Fortunately, there is plenty of work for me to do. I gave my three months notice yesterday, so in addition to my usually heavy workload, I also have a replacement search to start. I hope this post finds all our friends and family well. We would like to thank you all for your love and support this past year. Mom and I were talking this morning how we don't know how we would have gotten through this year without the love and support from our family and friends. We are truly thankful for all of you. February 16, 2008: I hope your week went well. Ours was a continuation of the roller coaster that this year has been. So...let's start with one of the "highs:" I got accepted to Grad School. I'm really excited, but also very scared at the same time. It's a really big decision for me as I will not be able to work for at least the first year and a half. After that, I can work part time to cover tuition at least. Also, going into nursing (even at a full time rate) is a pretty substantial pay decrease for me. Which is the reason we have given this alot of discussion over the years. And, I have no clue that nursing is my true passion in life. But, I know that everything to now points that I enjoy and am good at it. Plus, the masters give you so many options in career paths. But the biggest seller is flexibility. I only want to work part time when our kids are small, so nursing gives you the freedom to pick up shifts here and there to stay in the game, but not work full time. While flexible, my position now is definitely not part time. Mike does like to give me a hard time that "only I would go to grad school so I could work part time afterwards." But, that will only be for a while. When the kids are a little order, I fully intend to ramp up my career again, and that's another thing nursing offers - its much easier to step back in. This weekend also brought other "highs" including Jane's wedding shower yesterday (Saturday.) That was alot of fun. Today, we are going to a dinner Mike's colleagues are throwing him to celebrate his time (and departure from) EPSIIA. It was so sweet of them to organize this and I know it will mean alot to Mike. As for the lows of the roller coaster - its just the week. If you use the "days of the week" method of looking back, a year ago Friday is when Dad was confirmed terminal. On Saturday he came home to die. But in true "practical fashion" Dad took this day to organize his own Estate/Business Auction and answer any questions as to where things were located. This was very important given Dad's haphazard filing system. He walked for the last time Saturday night to try and have some dinner with our family. When he walked back to bed, that would be the last time he took any steps. On Sunday, he quit eating, but was alert enough to carry on short conversations and see visitors. Mike and I had our last conversation with him Sunday evening. On Sunday night he began slipping in and out of consciousness, but never was "coherent" again. I truly do believe he heard everything we said because he would pop up at times and answer a question to a conversation we were discussing. It was really quite a amazing, actually. Then, on Tuesday morning (which will be Wednesday, the 20th this year) he passed away peacefully surrounded by his family. Mom mom held him to the end until we felt his spirit leave. Its strange, but that was the most peaceful moment of my life. You literally could feel his spirit leave the body and go in the air. Words just can't describe the physical and metaphysical nature of this experience. It was just unbelievable. So as you can see, though this week as brought so many joys, we still can't help but look back at the vastly different life we were leading just one year ago. We are all trying to keep as busy as possible to occupy our time this week. This is actually the main reason I chose to have our wood floors installed this week. I figured it would keep me on my toes and occupied. (Though I'm sure the installers will think I'm nuts because I'm bound to cry alot.) Mom and Jess have also been keeping busy. They both have plans on Wednesday to help them cope with what will definitely be a tough day. Then, on Friday, Mom is flying up to Austin for work. I'm picking her up at the airport for breakfast, so that will be fun. Jessie is playing Friday tournaments. She's plays Varsity A Girls Doubles. This past week's match didn't fare as well as her first match back last week. But, more than anything, she's very happy to be back playing again - win or lose. February 9, 2008: A few updates from this week: Jessie is back up to full strength with tennis after her shoulder surgery. She and her Varsity doubles partner won A division doubles Friday at the Liberty invitational tournament. The awesome thing about this is that this is her first tournament since her surgery , which was exactly 10 weeks ago on Friday. Mom had a good week and started planning her July road trip to South Carolina and Georgia. She is going to hit the road in a convertible to visit family and friends. Mom and Jess finally figured out how Maggie (their lab puppy) is escaping out of the backyard. She was jumping out through one of the small ventilation holes in the brick foundation. They were definitely relieved to fix that situation. Jamie is feeling better...she was sick all week with a nasty case of strep throat. And a big congratulations to Jay for his promotion to supervisor. Speaking of job changes...we finally have some big news to report. On Wednesday night, Mike accepted a position with mPower Labs, a local Austin startup. (Don't expect much info from the website - their product hasn't launched yet, so the website is evasive.) It's a great opportunity for Mike and he's really excited. This has been one of the "opportunities" I referenced a few weeks ago. On Thursday Mike turned in his notice. Anticlimactically - no one was really in the office, so word didn't spread until Friday. Job changes may not be a big deal to some, but to us it's big news. Mike has been with Fiserv EPSIIA since he was 18 years old (he left for one year 9 years ago.) So, he basically grew up at the company - personally and professionally. And while he is really close with a lot of wonderful friends (they are more like family) at EPSIIA, its definitely time to move on. Ironically, he started submitting resumes last Fall when he couldn't take his old boss any more. About a month after he started submitting resumes, the company finally got a clue and canned his boss. So, things have actually been a lot better around the office. But...not better enough to stay. From the Fall batch of resumes, Mike started getting interviews in January and things progressed quickly. That's why January got so crazy...in the middle of home remodel construction, contract work, and school with me, Mike had a lot of phone and in-person interviews to work around. Other than not...not much is new. I finally contacted my counselor at UT to find out about acceptance/denial letters since their website says they go out February 1st. Well, apparently the decision process is taking longer than it ever has before, so notices won't be mailed out until next week. That didn't exactly make me feel any better. Oh well...we'll see. And yes Mom...its not nice of you to want me to not get accepted to UT so you can more grandkids sooner! :-) One last thing: Paul sent us this article. Apparently, the go kart track we went to in Indy was more dangerous than we thought. A man died their recently in an accident. Though, we are all trying to figure out how that happened - they were very safety conscience. February 5, 2008: Sorry for the lack of updates, lately. Things around here have been exhausting. Let's see...where did we leave off. Pop's funeral was very nice and the family is doing well. Pop was sick for so long, I think everyone is glad he isn't in pain anymore. He was also 89 - so he lived a very full life. After Mike got back in town, he continued his very busy schedule of contract work, regular work, and home renovations. Needless to say...he's pretty tired. The weekend after he got back into town, we laid slate in the entry way and around the fireplace. It really looks nice. But, we learned a valuable lesson - after you buy all the materials, rent the tile saw, etc, you really don't save much money over hiring someone. Seriously...I estimate we only saved about $200. And we spent and entire weekend working on it. Oh well... you live and learn. One thing we don't hire out is painting, and that is the phase of the project we are in now. We are going to try to paint as much as possible (we changed the paint color to Universal Khaki - the other color was too purple when we did a larger test patch) before the floors are installed (in two weeks.) But so far, our progress is limited. Oh well...what gets done, will get done. I have now entered a very busy season for work. The next 2 months are really crazy, so I have taken more of a laissez-faire attitude with the project. And Mike is too busy to take the lead. I guess when you have been planning something for years, its almost anti-climactic when it happens. Mike and I tend to "talk" everything to death, so when it actually happens, we are nearly over it. One time we bought a TV and someone close to us said something about purchasing it "suddenly." I had a big laugh out of this...what they didn't know is that Mike and I researched that purchase for nearly a year and waited until we found good deal (and it wasn't that huge of a purchase.) It took us nearly 2 years to agree and find my SUV (and that only happened thanks to Cousin Jimmy!!!) Otherwise, I think I'd still be driving that old Camry! Still no word on grad school, but I'm expecting something any day. (And driving Mike nuts about checking the mail.) Someone asked a good question recently - they asked what I planned to do if I don't get accepted. Frankly, this is a big possibility - the program I applied to only has about a 30-35% acceptance rate. Well, that is quite simple - we will start a family. Mike and I are definitely ready to have kids and school is the only thing holding up the plans right now. If I don't get accepted, I'll just take that as a sign that its time to start a family. If I do get accepted, we are hoping to time things so that I graduate pregnant. Mike said that we should aim for me missing graduation because of labor, but I think that is a little ambitious. Not to mention that I don't think he quite understands how difficult rotations are when you are that far along. Oh well...we'll see. It seems like every time we make plans, God seems to always laugh at them. Other than this, not too much is going on. Mom and Jess are doing well. Jess has been busy planning her Sweet 16 party (I know - I can't believe she's 16). Mom has been staying busy with work. Jamie is going well. She has two classes left to graduate this Spring and is currently looking for a job in the Houston area. If you know anyone that needs a math major (she's really good at statistical analysis) let us know. Morgan is doing well and is growing like crazy. She has a new interest of cooking and LOVES to help with making dinner. Jay has been really busy working in Reno, Nevada. That's been tough for him, Jamie, and Morgan since he's only in town one weekend every two weeks. Things are moving along. The only other big thing coming up is the one year anniversary. On February 20th, it will be one year since Dad passed away. Sometimes it feels like years away as we have all grown so much in the past year. Other times, it seems like yesterday because the wounds are still so fresh. Lately, I've been thinking alot about what was happening a year ago. Dad was in the experimental phase of treatment, but we were still hopeful that maybe they would find the right combo of chemo that would do the trick. That's all that had to happen - we had the donor ready to go. I know Dad fought valiantly until the end, and that means so much. The thing I miss the most is just talking to him. I laugh every time I "hear" is voice on the phone saying "yello". There are so many questions that I want to ask, but will never have the chance. The thing that brings me the greatest sadness is that my children will never get to meet their Grandpa and learn what a great man he was. Mike promised Dad a boy during our last conversation with him. I don't know how that's going to work out, but I know how much my Dad would have loved a little boy in the family. He always said Mike was the son he never had, but I know actually having a grandson would have meant so much. I have thought about changing the title of the "Ralph Updates" section of the website, but I just can't bare to do it - I know he's not coming back, but its hard to think of him as "gone," too. I know Dad would be proud of us. We are all doing the best we can without him. We are working hard not yo move "on", but "forth" with life. I think of him in nearly every big decision I make. Dad was always the guiding "compass" in our family. I just hope I can lead my life in a way which will make him proud.
Copyright 2006 Michelle and Mike Coffey
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